Dating according to God’s will is how to make friends and know each other better. There is even possibility of tying the wedding knot but there is also alot of pitfalls along the way that many dating couples should avoid before presenting themselves on stage as reminded in Romans: 12. 2. And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
We need to be careful during dating because the devil is also interested in our dating and wish for us to fall into sin when we are the weakest as explained in James: 1. 14. but each man is tempted, when he is drawn away by his own lust, and enticed. During dating, we need to constantly remind each other on the temptation of sins, because we live in a world full of sexual and flesh attraction. Never should we over confident that we are spiritually strong and we will not stumble and fall into sins.
There is differences between Christian and non Christian dating but we need to aware of it because alot of undesired things can happen during that time. We need to do things that pleases God and our partner. Courtship according to Christianity is to find facts, evaluate, judge the personality and character of our partner, on whether is suitable for us as in 1 Thessalonians: 5. 21. prove all things; hold fast that which is good; 22. abstain from every form of evil. It is simply not about long chit chat, exchages of smiles, dreamy gaze, flattering dress and accessories, sexy looks, fine dining and fun entertainments or perhaps progressing unto the next level of intimacy after the candles die.
The dependability of a person depends on his or her character and not external appearance. Mutual attraction is to enable couples to know each other to come together and know each other better. The best choice of dating partner is to select from among your Christian fellowship because the dating couples are made of the same yoke and there is considered a better blend. But it does not forbid dating partner of other yoke, provided you do not lose your own beliefs and faith. We do not simple date and fall in love because we feel lonely, time to settle down, urge of having own children, critical baby bearing years or based on attraction and good feeling. The main reason is to develop true love in Christ Jesus as the center.
Agape love is based on the love of God that is unconditional inspite of our circumstances and physical appearance. This love of Christ Jesus for us is willing to sacrifice Himself on the cross for our sake. And Phileo love is the liking and admiration that is pure like buddies.
History has shown that human possesses the Phileo Love and recognized the Agape Love of God. Where even deadly foes over long years of battles have developed admiration and respect for the main enemy leader they faced. It is through these long contacts and constant exchanges of swords that both sides know each other very well. And eventually the deadly battles become non deadly and carnage anymore (merely a show of light skirmishes and patrols over enemy territory just to pacify some idealist factions), because the Phileo Love of both sides have come to maturity. This great love of humanity is shown in many great leaders of the past and their accompanying great deeds are remembered and admired by both sides even till this day. Why? Because they all honored God and allowed the Agape Love of God to manifest in the form of Phileo Love; that it flow through in the passage of time on both sides of the divide.
On the other hand, Eros is love based on physical looks and attraction of the flesh and satisfaction of the senses but it is erotic and sexual and not guided by the Holy Spirit. Therefore it is not pure love.
In this world there is still true love as long as God exists. We need to encourage each other to keep true to each other and to seek God. True love can wait no matter what; whereas Eros love simply cannot wait.